idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
