your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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