there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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