I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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