We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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