At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
