If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
