i barfeds in our rink
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the liver wants what the liver wants
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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