I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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