i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
