dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
