i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dick very happy bro
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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