We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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