you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize