he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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