JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize