Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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