Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize