for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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