u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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