Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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