Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
