I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
