I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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