You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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