Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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