first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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