"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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