CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dicks are not precious.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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