I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize