She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she peed on how many people?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
