entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My liver just had a heart attack.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
