Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i believe in u and ur pee
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
