where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
