You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dear god my vagina.
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