As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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