i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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