how do flat chested girls get laid?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
