my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
