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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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