I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
