i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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