If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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