You work out of a Hotel?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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