I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
