Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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