I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
