Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize