i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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