508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
