If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
