next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
