I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
