If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
