Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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