thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Damn victory sex feels great
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
