just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
