nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
this hospital has no fireball
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
