Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
