forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
