i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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